wwwweeeeeeeeeeee. I am a sad pathetic excuse for an almost 30 year old. Though I’m just going to say I’m a very awesome and loving sister.
Ash has left on her trip to Nanny Land Sunday morning. Well, as any good loving sister would do, I took her to go shopping at the Grove – of course this had nothing to do with the Barnes and Noble that was holding my copy of Breaking Dawn. And of course, the park bench I then sat on for the next 3 hours while she shopped reading the book, was out of my obligation to her to finish the book before Sunday morning so she could take it off to Nanny Land with her.
So in summation. My book review.
It was entertaining. I couldn’t help laughing at certain parts (some I am not quite sure if Stephenie Meyer meant it to be that funny, or if the cheesy factor was just too thick). I’m not upset by the character changes– people grow up and I think Stephenie was trying to capture that. But I also think she lost some of the charm of the whole Twilight series in this book. I felt a little less emotional with this book. It was fluffy and happy and entertaining. The “fight” scene was okay, and had a lot going on, but overall I wasn’t super tense. I guess I give it a B. The “romantic” scenes I felt were contrived, and I really have issues with a book that thousands of teen girls are fans of having such mature content. I think Stephenie glossed/faded to black a lot which is fine, but at the same time very strongly conveyed that sex is just so phenomenal you can’t function properly and it’s all you’ll want to do . . .which is not exactly what I want my teenage daughter reading.
I am kind of bugged by the whole Edward can get Bella prego part . . . if Stephenie had never said anything about vampire’s inability to have kiddies, it wouldn’t bug me. But she took the time in an interview to say they couldn’t, and then with no explanation in the book, just made it happen. She explained how Bella’s new closet looked, what Bella’s kid smelled like, but couldn’t take the time to explain this plot point – -well that just irked me. And again, I reiterate, I like the emotional side of Twilight. This book I felt was just a bit too much on the “Oh Bella’s dress was ripped, and Edward couldn’t control himself,” (I’m laughing just typing that line! Which according to DH is a sign that this is most definitely girl porn, and right up their with a Fabio novel).
So I have found chapters 1-14, Of course I have not read pages 274-275 as they were glued together by the dolt who scanned the pages. Do I think it’s all an elaborate hoax? No, not at all. Really, people have a ton of time on their hands, but no one has THAT much time. And these books aren’t THAT important to society. I guess I have to wait till Saturday to pick up my book to get the rest– but I did pass along the first 14 chapters as any dutiful friend would what those people did with the links, I can only assume.
So at the risk of spoiling anyone who plans on reading the book here I go:
It’s EXACTLY what I expected. Ok to be fair, I didn’t expect it to be this CHEESY, but yes I did expect it to be cheesy. It has officially gone to the land of girly porn as my hubby loves to call it. It’s not really girly porn, but MAN does it get close. I’m not really into the whole mushy, hold me and look into my eyes forever stuff… ugh.. gag. This book is SOOO full of the lovey dovey stuff it sickens me. I am kind of surprised at the adultness of it all, being that these books are supposed to be for teenage girls (what I never said I wasn’t immature enough to read this stuff).
Overall, I thought it was a bit amateurish to be honest. Yes I laughed at certain scenes – Jake seriously cracks me up. I rolled my eyes at other silly inserts by Stephanie. I could just see her sitting at her desk laughing to herself smugly at what a funny writer she thinks she is. She quoted the Simpsons! And she snuck in a blonde joke. And she mentioned Idaho! I kinda feel like while writing this book she had a list of “fan requests” that she tried to sneak into the book, you know, ”peep call outs.” Like fit ”chain link fence” into your talk in church on Sunday, kind of stuff.
My bro calls it mass marketed fan fiction, and that is really what it is. I think this book, more so than the others, really begins to clearly mark itself as such. Overall, I guess I’m still picking up the book, but I am a bit dissapointed that Stephanie wasn’t able to really show herself to be an outstanding author, but has, as most LDS authors before her in my book, gone the way to cheesy overwritten girl crap. Oh well, maybe this is all fake and none of what is on the net is true. . . thought I REALLY believed that Stephanie was going to try and get Bella pregnant by SOMEONE.. ANYONE in this book, and well from what’s out there, she played right into my prediction, like the hack writer that she is.
I asked my sister to describe me in one word. She pulled out opinionated, which immediately surprised me, not because I disagree, but because I was surprised that she knew such large words. Seriously though, I need an outlet for all that goes on in my head as my husband ... Continue reading »
what those people did with the links, I can only assume.