Evaluatin’ and smart stuff

Ok, so I promise to be better, and you can expect a slew of posts over the Christmas Holiday… not that I’m not working, because I am.  Sometimes I wish I would have taken that $16 an hour job that had a mandatory 2 week shutdown in December on top of regular vacation time… they told me I could keep a TV in my office. But you and I both know satisfaction wouldn’t have come from the job, nor would I feel good about making $16 an hour in LA.

I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this week. Maybe it’s all the time I’ve spent on Facebook– it makes you think about the past, which makes me think about me in the past and me in the present. I’m very happy with my life, and while I won’t lie and say I don’t have regrets, most of my regrets are regrets of not having more experiences during different periods in my life. Now that I’m in this period… early marriage, early work career? I’m not quite sure what to call it, I want to make sure I pack it full of everything, and I don’t miss out on something– good or bad.

I want to love the crap out of life! I want to be more than a woman on a treadmill.  Last night I spent some time looking at my life goals, what I want to achieve, and why I want to achieve it.  I do have a strong desire for individualism, a strong need to be independent, and a strong need for social acceptance.. well not really acceptance but awe of my success, although not necessarily approval of me as a person  I still haven’t quite put my thumb on that. It does kind of bug me that I don’t want to just do something, but I want to do something that is admired. So in an effort to fight against my natural instincts (e.g. go to Law School and be a super kick A lawyer), I put together a list of things I want to achieve and do now, versus later.

Seriously though.

THE LIST

• Owning my own company – maybe several until I’m successful, and not be afraid of scraping my knees along the way.
• Getting crafty – actually finishing my pintuck duvet, taking up sewing again.
• Seeing America – taking time off and going places. Yellowstone, Alaska, DC, NY!
• Doing my genealogy– with pictures and stories, and putting together something nice before all of my memories fade.
• Writing a novel — even if it sucks and Ryan laughs at it for the rest of my life.
• Reading lots and lots of interesting books.
• Being a better homemaker– having an organized house that looks like I want it to look, not like a college dorm.  Taking the time to make the meals I like to make, not sacrificing good food for easy food because I worked too long.
• Being a good mom – hopefully I accomplish this one first, considering you know..everything.. and all.
• Going out and experiencing LA – the plays, the music, the shows!

Save it for a Rainy Day

As I was driving to work today, the Dos XXs commercial was on. I couldn’t find the exact commercial, but it was along these lines.

One of the last lines was, ” he never saves anything for a rainy day.”  Which made me think about if I wanted to be a saver for rainy days, or a live life to the moment type of person. I also wondered, where the saying came from. After a bit of googling I cam across:

Save for a rainy day – to keep something (usually money) until one really needs it.  Formerly most jobs, such as farm jobs, were dependent on the weather. Since they could not be carried out in rainy weather, no money was earned then.

As this saying has been around from before 1850, it was a bit of an old one and harder to find.  I found it and other sayings here.

But I digress. My point, saving for a rainy day, should we? Or should we enjoy life now.  I am a full believer in being prepared, in fact be prepared for a blog post on my preparation for disasters, etc.  Monkeybot has been so kind to  send me items for my personal preparedness. But the question that was weighing on my mind this morning, was am I working now like I was a farmer?  –waking up at  5am and going to bed when the sun is down, trying to squeeze as much work/savings as I can out of each day, with the belief that when the rainy day comes I’ll have both time and money to keep me safe.  With that thought on my mind, I then ran across (thanks twitter) Met Life’s Study on how we are saving money and preparing for rainy days.

Couple of highlights for you:

50% of Americans say they are only  one month — or only two paychecks — or less away from not being able to meet their financial obligations if they were to lose their job, and more than half of these, a startling 28% of the total respondents, couldn’t survive financially for more than two weeks.

I thought the statistic on eating out was interesting, especially as it concerns Generation Y:

66% are eating out less often. That figure rises to 71% among GenXers.

We were eating out a lot, because I was working too much and too tired to cook by the time I got home.  I’ve been trying to lose weight, so have been making an effort to cook more home low-fat meals, so I guess I fall into that statistic, but for other reasons.

As for savings, we have a bit more saved than most, which makes me ask again, am I saving EVERYTHING for a rainy day, and not living my life? I am thinking yes, as if I was doing something fun, then I’d be blogging about that, and not old idioms, random surveys by Met Life, and my pathetic work life!

the end of my world

After a nice weekend at the beach a few weeks back I am officially ruined. Especially as I haven’t had time to go back yet. Not only did a day at the beach made me realize I truly am fat. Photos found on Natalie and Gavin’s blog, though I personally am fonder of the photo Paul sent. . .

Point being I woke up at 5:30 to do some P90x exercise routines to get skinny. I can’t say again, as I’ve never quite been the skinny type. But being out of shape isn’t what’s ruined me (that’s only depressed me). I’m ruined because my will to work is gone. Granted I did emails for 15 minutes at 7, showed up to work from 8:30-7:20 and didn’t take a lunch . . . digressing. . . I don’t want to work anymore!!!! That’s the point. I have lost any drive to achieve anything in the work realm. I could care less about the money. I could care less about the recognition, sense of achievement and learning. Bah, bah, and double bah.

I want the sense of achievement from having a kid, or volunteering at some nice non-profit. I want the enjoyment of reading a really good book and analyzing the crap out of it. I want to be able to walk along the side of a lake and just reflect inwards. I want to try out a new recipe, or actually decorate my house! But I also loathe the thought of just being at home, I just want more me time too. So I think I need to start a business. I really think I can do it! Here is to more week days at the beach!

fatty food

So after what feels like two months of being bloated (hubby says it’s fat, but I refuse to believe it’s anything but water weight- if I can’t lie to myself who can I lie to?), I’ve turned over a new leaf and am eating healthy. It hasn’t been that hard to reduce the amount of calories I eat, and increase the amount of healthy nutrients. Found a nifty site that has random photos of 200 calories worth of food. Did a little experiment and created a day worth of normal (e.g. bad eating) versus healthy eating.

It’s really crazy to think how easily we rack up way more calories than we need… especially when the candy jar is kept at your desk!

I would probably eat a bowl of chili with this, which would bump this up to an even 2000 calories. But all healthy calories so worth it.

Changing my eating habits get me partially there, but exercise unfortunately is also needed. I’ve started doing P90x. I’ll be sure to post photos of the after..and before ..but only after the after. Of course you all know if you don’t ever see the afters that I have once again succumbed to my lazy tv watching self Wish me luck!

visions of grandeur

Monkeybot sent me a support the rabid arm band- you know like those Live Strong ones. . . the ones I have sworn never to ever wear. Well I couldn’t help but wear this one. It’s my motivation.   How is Support the Rabid motivational to me, and the LiveStrong etc. ones not you ask? Well it all stems from my self delusions of grandeur. The band is a subtle reminde,  reminds me of how pathetic it is to be so misguided in visions of grandeur.

I would like to think if the world were to end in some post apocalyptic nightmare see… Terminator,  Matrix, Night of the Living Dead, 28 Days,  I am Legend, etc… that I could and would survive.

I would have the stamina to out run hordes of approaching zombies. The agility to maneuver my way through tight situations. The strength to at least escape my attackers, and hopefully annihilate them.

Sadly, the fact that running a mile kills me, and I am a far cry from the 8 minute mile makes me realize . . . I am zombie food.  So I now wear my I support the rabid wrist band, as I run  to Blumchen, AC/DC, and 50 Cent  and tell my self to push a little harder, as I want to be able to know for sure that I could survive if I had to.  That my visions of grandeur are possible reality, not the pathetic fantasies of an out of shape slob.

Odd how our minds tell us things that aren’t quite true. If only I, like the many Anorexics out there told myself I was too fat and too out of shape… where’s the disease curing doctors for my delusions?

I am proud to say I’m two weeks in to running every day. . . and I think the legs are firming up. . .the lungs are still as pathetic as ever though. And I guess I’m not quite hitting the “every day” goal.