I am a Mormon. I always have been, and I hope I always will be. I don’t say for certain, because things change, people change, and I dare not think so assuredly in my faith that I don’t value the fact that I could very easily wander off my current path in an instant.
Sometimes, I wonder how I appear to the outward world, to the inner ward, and on the overall scheme of things. I faithfully attended seminary, I went to BYU, I always wore a one piece (personal preference) until after I got married, and now I wear a bikini. I wore tank tops until I got married, and adjusted my wardrobe accordingly. I would never think to wear a short skirt or sleeveless shirt now, although I’m certain my opinion on acceptable cleavage and others are vastly different.
I don’t read my scriptures every day, but I love my scriptures dearly and sometimes will spend hours going through it and thinking on topics. Prayer like my teeth and makeup, depend entirely on how exhausted I am at the end of the day. But like exercise, and all things good for you, I make my best efforts.
Here is the thing, at the end of the day I know that the gospel is the truth and light in my life. That’s it. That’s all the matters at the end of the day for me. Leaders may offend, I may offend, and I may not always 100% understand why some things work the way the do. But it doesn’t matter to me, because my belief has nothing to do with the day-to-day running of how things work in the church, or how they worked in the church way back when. My belief is greater and deeper than that. My belief is between me and God and Christ. It is a sure knowledge that there is a plan. A plan that I have a map. While I may not fully understand all of the whys and innerworkings, I know it’s a glorious plan. I know that there are certain things that are clearly outlined. And for that, I’m thankful.